How Men Can Buy Feminine Hygiene Without Embarrassment

It's nearing the last Wednesday of the month. I know it's coming; it happens every single month without fail since we've been together. 'Sweety? Can you go to the store and buy me tampons?' After this, of course, I tremble. I love her very much, and I know I can look like a hero by getting them, but is it all worth the price of humiliation? Nope. It definitely is not.

I know her brand of tampons, she likes the Tampax Pearl. I know exactly where they are at WalMart to the aisle and the shelf. I also know how long I have to tread through hell once I'm in the store. I average 11 minutes.

I know they are called 'sanitary napkins,' but I help but feel dirty when I touch them. I cannot help but feel the collective sympathies of all the men who see me, and the snickers of the teenagers and the married men to the post-menopausal. They've been there, done that, and it's nice to see that they aren't the only ones. It is like a silent fraternity within the aisles of the grocery store.

Once home, and fully trembling in disgust, I show up with plastic bag in hand, never thick enough to conceal the items inside. For that moment I'm a hero. I'm a great boyfriend, husband, and father. For that moment I am on top of the world, however, the price versus the length of heroism isn't worth the effort. What kind of man buys feminine hygiene for their girl? The best man in the world.

No kidding, there is a website out there where men and women can go and buy those items that are too embarrassing to buy at the store. Feminine Hygiene is just one of their categories, but it is the one I frequent the most. I know her brand, I know her timing, imagine how it feels to be a hero without her asking you to go and buy them at the store. I've learned my lesson. I can stock up and surprise her in the end.

It really makes that one week of the month a little more tolerable.